I recently came across a deeply touching and truly brilliant performance by Arina Shilo on Bulgaria’s Got Talent, and it left me in awe.It’s presented without explanation, inviting each viewer to discover their own meaning and engage with it from wherever they are.

Just a little disclosure: what I’ll share here is only my own perception of the performance and the insight I gained.

Before you read further, you might want to watch the performance and give yourself a moment afterward — to notice what it stirs in you.

For me, the performance was deeply moving. I lived every second with Arina — her brave effort, her struggle…To me, it symbolized the courageous journey of someone striving toward freedom, trying to break through, while still being pulled back by binding strings. In this context it could be old patterns, past issues, or self-limiting beliefs.

Then the ending came…

A Triggering Outcome

… and I was left shocked. I don’t know about you, but the moment she decided to put the scissors into the luggage, I got goosebumps. I even felt anger. “Why the heck didn’t she cut the bloody strings?” … after all her effort, I so much wanted her to win.

As a reaction, at first, I felt inspired to write an article about how tools and insights are not enough to facilitate the transformation if they are not met with real-life action. And while there is truth in that, the more I rewatched the performance, the more I realized I was only skimming the surface. There was something deeper I sensed that I needed to address — something about humility, my own humility.

I realized that my frustration was not just about how it ended. It was about my expectation of what she should do — my need for a certain kind of resolution — and my difficulty in tolerating that her journey might not resolve on my timeline, or in the way I hoped.

But what if the “right solution” as we imagine it — the one that feels obvious, logical, even compassionate to us — is not the right solution for the person actually living it? What if my certainty about what should happen says more about my own needs than about her readiness?

The performance quietly shows that she already has the tools. After all, the scissors were in her luggage all along. Yet … she made a choice not to use them.

Being With vs. Being For

And that’s where respect and trust enter: trust in someone’s inner timing and trust in their ability to decide for themselves. Because if we decide for them, we take away their power, put ourselves in the savior or parent role (“I know better what’s best for you”), and risk turning them into passive observers of their own life. And even if we want to help with the best of intentions, this way, we disempower them.

As a therapist, this hits deeply. How often do I silently hope a client will “make that decision” — or “cut that string”? How subtle is the line between supporting them in seeking their own truth and applying pressure? And who am I to decide when the right moment for change has arrived for them?

Carrying the weight a little longer might still be a necessary part of Arina’s inner growth journey.

Choosing not to cut is also a choice — not a failure. Maybe she needs to keep moving forward like this a little longer. Maybe she needs to place one more tool into her luggage. Or maybe she simply does not want to cut — not now, maybe next time, maybe never.

And with her performance I was reminded, how important is that I keep checking on myself as well: including on noticing my own urge for resolution. And to remain present, respectful, and humble in the face of a journey that is not mine to complete.

Video belongs to bulgariatalent.btv | Performer: Arina Shilo

About the AuthorVero is a counselor with a background in person-centered therapy and body-based approaches. She holds space for deep emotional work in both individual sessions and Enlightenment Intensive retreats. Her work is rooted in lived experience and a quiet devotion to authenticity, softness, and human connection. Together with Peter Harper, she is a co-founder of the EI Association and co-creator of The Drunken Monk Conscious Living.